Fiirst Steps in Research #1: Imposter Syndrome
You are new to UX Research and feel overwhelmed by the list of skills demanded in most job offers? Or maybe you recently landed a job, but can’t shake off the feeling of being a fraud? Well, that’s actually OK. You will get there. And we can assure you, most people in UX Research felt like imposters early in their careers. Yet, they made it. You don’t believe us? Read on.
For our new mini-series First Steps in Research, we asked Senior Researchers (some of whom are quite recognisable faces) from UX, User, Market, Product, and Design Research about their early years in the industry, their initial challenges and secret passions. Here’s what they had to say.
How did you enter the field?
Last job title before research? Junior Digital Producer / Account Manager
When & where did you start? I started my UX Research career at SoundCloud in the summer of 2015. I was an intern supporting the UX Research team right here in Berlin.
Last job title before research? Design Thinking Coach
When & where did you start? I always wondered what leads people to innovate instead of settling with what they have. I wrote my thesis about that. That was my first research, even though it was not UX research yet.
Last job title before research? I worked at an agency where I think my title was Human Interface Designer (although I was never a designer)
When & where did you start? At an industrial design consultancy in Silicon Valley in the mid-1990s
Last job title before research? I was an Automotive Body Panel Engineer.
When & where did you start? Already when I was studying to be an automotive engineer I focussed on the human-machine-interface. That led me to study my Masters and writing my thesis in the UK in the field of Human Factors Engineering.
Tom Illmensee, Product Strategist and Founder of Orbital Music Park
Last job title before research? Library Clerk
When & where did you start? I ran my first usability test in 2000 while working at a history museum and research library. We evaluated the design of the library's online catalog of rare books, maps and manuscripts.
Last job title before research? Before my very first UX research & design role I was a student and research associate. And then later I was Head of UX at a gaming company before I decided to take a step back again in order to return to growing my ‘hands on’ skills. To do this, I joined eBay Classifieds as senior UX Designer & Researcher.
When & where did you start? Already as a student during my Bachelors and my Masters as Research Associate - my work included User Research, Design and Front End Engineering.
Last job title before research? Senior Lecturer in Sociology
When & where did you start? September 2011 as ‘Social Researcher’ soon renamed ‘Product Researcher’ at Prezi, which was a software start up with 40-50 employees at that point.
Last job title before research? It was ‘IT consultant’, but this is also a bit confusing, since afterwards I was a ‘Usability engineer’ at two different company, at the first it was more what we would call today ‘front-end’, and at the second it was more similar to User Research, although it was way more process oriented (at a medical company).
When & where did you start in UX? Let's say it was at Prezi in 2011.
Last job title before research? German Localisation Coordinator.
When & where did you start in UX? I had already given up on research for good after I had left my career in academia. When I started another startup job in 2014, the UX team hosted an onboarding session for us. It was the first time I heard about UX. I realised I might have one very last shot. The following year, I joined their team.
Last job title before research? I have been a Market Researcher for my entire career.
When & where did you start in UX? In 2018, I was offered Interim UX Research Lead at an ECG company. I have to admit, up to that point I thought UX Research is nothing but prototype testing. After six months working with their fantastic team, I had changed my mind and learnt how rich and diverse UX research actually is.
What felt super hard in your first year as researcher and became very easy with more experience?
Tom Illmensee, Product Strategist and Founder of Orbital Music Park
When I started out, we were conducting usability tests in an actual lab with two-way mirrors and cameras! We were following classic human factors processes and protocols, so we were very thorough and science-y in our approach. Evaluating web site prototypes and running card sorts could take weeks to complete. Thankfully, Lean UX techniques have simplified and concentrated our efforts. Now we observe, analyze, and learn in minutes and hours instead of days and weeks. Yay!
Dealing with unexpected things that people usually do - and that they will do since they are people after all. Like test participants showing up with their partner since they go everywhere together, and insisting they do the test together.
What I found really difficult was juggling all the multiple tasks of a user researcher: Recruiting, interview guide, alignment with others, the different roles in the interview. I once had someone who was drunk and I had to ask myself: 'Should I kick him out? How do I do that? Are the answers still useful or not?' And the tech setup, of course. Not a single research simply worked. You'd come into the lab and all the plugs were switched around and there was never a setup that was ready to go. I don't notice that anymore, but it's also changed a lot because we do a lot more remote research now.
Finding the right language, tone, and demeanour as a researcher. How to come across as professional, yet immediately approachable? How to craft that research recruiting email, survey, interview guide in a way that is to the point, yet intriguing and human? How to make an research interview more of a friendly conversation? How to give space and signal attention in a research situation? How do I make a participant feel their stories matter at a personal level? Also, how to be me, how to be present as a human as much as a researcher?
Actually, in my first year everything felt quite hard - moderating without prompting and guiding participants too much, coping with clients and stakeholders, analysing the results and writing an involving and informative result presentation. But I think what was the hardest: forming an opinion and stating my point even if the client had a different opinion. Growing confidence really took time.
I had a long ramp-up when I started doing fieldwork; I began just reviewing videotapes (yes, tapes) from field visits in the back room, then I went out into the field but just held the video camera, then I was allowed to ask one question, then I eventually would co-lead and even lead interviews. It gave me the space to really practice just the deep listening part of interviews.
For years, I really struggled with analysing all the qualitative data points I had collected. My first UX team had no analysis or documentation routines I could learn from. They were mostly experienced researchers who could rely on their memory to write a whole report. So I thought I'd have to rewatch all videos, transcribe everything said and create a detailed ticket for any tiny bug we came across. Analysing a 45 min video kept me busy for a whole day. I dreaded this, which slowed me down even more. Needless to say, my stakeholders needed the insights quicker than that. Only on my third UXR job, I was taught a lean analysis method to get the gist of 5 or 6 interviews within hours. It was a game changer.
How did you overcome your imposter syndrome?
Does anybody ever overcome it? Outside feedback usually helps me. For example I try to talk frequently with friends and peers outside of my immediate circles, like somebody from another company doing something similar than I do. It helps me realise that others are dealing with the same or similar problems, and my thinking and approach to things is actually quite on point or at least in the right direction.
Did I? I think it still hits me now and then. On the one hand, we should try to see the little voice in our heads as a friend, because it makes you vigilant, reflective, and pushes you to be better. Ultimately improving your work and growth. On the other hand, if it gets too loud, these otherwise helpful thoughts consume us and they get skewed into a negative direction, letting us doubt our abilities, or our worth. We need to distance ourselves from it, set boundaries. We have the opportunity to get into a dialog with the voice, thank it for being useful but that this is not helping. Start understanding why it acts out: Am I doing too much? Do I want to be too perfect? Am I obsessing?
Overcome? It is still there! I am still waiting for the moment when someone in my presentations stands up and shouts "You have no idea what you are talking about!". Up to now, it did not happen. But I am still waiting for it. However, I feel that since then, I raised the bar quite a bit before I would have to admit that I have no idea what I am talking about.
What makes you so sure I have?! I don’t know if it ever goes away but it becomes less frequent, and less acute the more situations I’ve been in that I can approach with comfort. With each milestone birthday I learn to give less of a fuck about what people think of me. It also helps to acknowledge periodically what I’ve accomplished, or try and hear it when others tell me what they think I’ve accomplished (even if I want to minimize that), because those are things that can’t be taken away from me.
Tom Illmensee, Product Strategist and Founder of Orbital Music Park
In the book Empowered: Ordinary Products, Extraordinary Products, Marty Cagan writes that an assertive inner critic voice can keep you sharp. I agree with this. Imposter syndrome can be a weakness to overcome when all it does is force you into the comfort zone - where you play it safe. Imposter syndrome can be a strength when it inspires you to stretch and grow. My advice: don't overcome it. Understand it, then use what you learn to improve yourself.
Looking back, my research career looks like everything fell into place beautifully. But actually, the voice of doubt was very loud for the first 7 years. Yes. S-E-V-E-N years. It's the price of constantly leaving your comfort-zone. It does not always pay out (immediately). Recent years have been better. I don't cringe anymore when somebody requests my 'expert' opinion. I understood that, to be a UX expert, you should be good in many disciplines, but only need to excel in one or two of them. I eventually learned how all my research expertise from academia translates into UX jargon. It definitely helped that there are some brilliant no bullshit people in my life who occasionally rely on my advice. Additionally, my consulting years were a fast-track to picking up best practises from others and broadening my horizon. Mentoring and teaching helped to realise how far I've come.
By learning to be comfortable with myself. Imposter syndrome has followed me throughout my life as a jobseeker and employee, but it was born from being a member of a family obsessed with academic and financial results. In my younger years, I was asked “why can’t you be more like (insert name of person)” more often than I’d like to admit. Experiences like these can be damaging but they don’t need to have permanently lasting effects. I compare my process of overcoming imposter syndrome to healing a deep wound. Therapy helped to identify and uncover many of the damaging perceptions I had about myself and others. Prioritising rest, self-care and healthy relationships was all part of the day-to-day healing process. I also try to be open about my insecurities and blindspots with my friends, colleagues and people I care about.
On that note, let’s close with incredibly important advise by Basim:
If you’re unsure how to tackle imposter syndrome yourself, then consider resources like this article by the New York Times, speaking to a mental health professional and/or getting support from people you trust.
Enjoyed the read? Check part #2 & #3, sign up to our newsletter, and follow us on our social channels for the next edition.
